I am convening an annual management convention at SCMS-Cochin where I am working now. Hence the break...? Well ....I just wanted to tell you that this time I have a convincing excuse for not blogging....
Let me leave you for a while to breathe fresh air......
Friday, August 25, 2006
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
an ad a day..
after a gap , with holidays putting my intellect to rest and sleep.... here is the last one in the series....
Friday, August 11, 2006
Thursday, August 10, 2006
May god Blast u........
A School Master from a remote rural area was transferred to a new School in Mumbai. He reported for duty two days after actual date of joining. Consequently was asked for explanation in writing.
Here he goes...
Deer sur,'This is my first vijit to Bombai. If small small mistakes get inside my letter, I ask pardon. Stickly speaking, I wanted to join your school more fastly, but for the following reason, too much time lost in getting slipper reservation in three-tyre compartment. The clerk rejected to give ticket to I and my sun. I put complaint on station master. He said I to go to lady clerk. At first she also rejected.
I then pressed her for long time and at last with great difficulty she gave a birth only to my sun. Anyway I thanked the station master because he was responsible for getting birth of my sun. I hope u will see my hole story and late me first time I am now ending this fastly.
May God blast you!Thank you
***************************************************************************
Bekar ads galore and they remind me of the specimen of a school master as you saw above...
Trying to say something and ending up as saying the contrary...trying to say many things and ending up saying nothing..trying to be everything to every one and ending up being nothing to no one...trying to be...
&*#$ them they are not trying ...they just pretend to be trying... and they mean nothing.....
In the last couple of weeks many ads have managed to irritate me to the core, for simply being 'pretentious and incomprehensible nonsense' ( Thanks to Sir Ogilvy)
Dettol.... for simply refusing to leave that typical mother -son cliche....let me not say more
Dyna soaps for the fact that they are still living in the bygone era where something could simply sell if you parade a celebrity no matter whether she is relevant or not to the product and its positioning..here alas a lousy product with no positioning and a Katrina kaif...I shudder...
Maruthi swift for simply copying the foodball field ad from an old MRF ad....come one guys....there should be some decency even for Cut-copy and Paste...
TVS scooty Pink...even though better than the rest...some execution flaws are there..."Madam" is dreaded by the typical tapori student gang leaders......which college yaaar? I would like to teach there damn it.......
Harpic forever being so moronic, trying to bore people into buying..the more you try to push our heads into the dirty toilets, the more you find us alienated...Roshan abbas or Aman verma doesnt make a difference for me..and neither does the 50-50 comparison using acid in one half and harpic in the other....Demo..comparison..absolute crap...
Cadburys for their obviously low IQ in parading a cow as Radha in a crappy ad which they hope would be a tease and reveal one..it teases yes..but that is it..an excuse of a creativity..and I pity O&M for we have seen their potential in the past..Kya se Kya ho gaya yaarr?....
Thats to name a few....
I am surprised and shocked by the callousness with which this " works" are churn out in an attempt to attract the Indian consumer... such apathy ,such lethargy, such chalta hai attitude deserves a kick in the butt..na na not for the agency... ( they surely deserve it) but given a choice my kick would be to the Brand managers/Marketing managers of the clients who approve such preposterous material....
Let me rest......
Here he goes...
Deer sur,'This is my first vijit to Bombai. If small small mistakes get inside my letter, I ask pardon. Stickly speaking, I wanted to join your school more fastly, but for the following reason, too much time lost in getting slipper reservation in three-tyre compartment. The clerk rejected to give ticket to I and my sun. I put complaint on station master. He said I to go to lady clerk. At first she also rejected.
I then pressed her for long time and at last with great difficulty she gave a birth only to my sun. Anyway I thanked the station master because he was responsible for getting birth of my sun. I hope u will see my hole story and late me first time I am now ending this fastly.
May God blast you!Thank you
***************************************************************************
Bekar ads galore and they remind me of the specimen of a school master as you saw above...
Trying to say something and ending up as saying the contrary...trying to say many things and ending up saying nothing..trying to be everything to every one and ending up being nothing to no one...trying to be...
&*#$ them they are not trying ...they just pretend to be trying... and they mean nothing.....
In the last couple of weeks many ads have managed to irritate me to the core, for simply being 'pretentious and incomprehensible nonsense' ( Thanks to Sir Ogilvy)
Dettol.... for simply refusing to leave that typical mother -son cliche....let me not say more
Dyna soaps for the fact that they are still living in the bygone era where something could simply sell if you parade a celebrity no matter whether she is relevant or not to the product and its positioning..here alas a lousy product with no positioning and a Katrina kaif...I shudder...
Maruthi swift for simply copying the foodball field ad from an old MRF ad....come one guys....there should be some decency even for Cut-copy and Paste...
TVS scooty Pink...even though better than the rest...some execution flaws are there..."Madam" is dreaded by the typical tapori student gang leaders......which college yaaar? I would like to teach there damn it.......
Harpic forever being so moronic, trying to bore people into buying..the more you try to push our heads into the dirty toilets, the more you find us alienated...Roshan abbas or Aman verma doesnt make a difference for me..and neither does the 50-50 comparison using acid in one half and harpic in the other....Demo..comparison..absolute crap...
Cadburys for their obviously low IQ in parading a cow as Radha in a crappy ad which they hope would be a tease and reveal one..it teases yes..but that is it..an excuse of a creativity..and I pity O&M for we have seen their potential in the past..Kya se Kya ho gaya yaarr?....
Thats to name a few....
I am surprised and shocked by the callousness with which this " works" are churn out in an attempt to attract the Indian consumer... such apathy ,such lethargy, such chalta hai attitude deserves a kick in the butt..na na not for the agency... ( they surely deserve it) but given a choice my kick would be to the Brand managers/Marketing managers of the clients who approve such preposterous material....
Let me rest......
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Piyo ....Sar Udake....
The Cola guys are in the quagmire again...It is not novel for them to land in trouble, get dirty faced ,wriggle out of and jump into another basket of shit.... throughout the world, for some reason or the other people disliked Colas and this inherent dislike has cascaded into virtual hatred to whatever they do and however decent their intentions are...
Sunita Narayan of CSE ( the centre for science and environment,,,, for the uninitiated) has 'revealed' for the second time in three years that the level of pesticides in cola drinks is "Many" times greater than the limit allowed by the government. The furore has begun...States have sprung into action.... banning cola in schools and colleges...the state of Kerala is about to ban it in the whole state...and the Left is "guiding" ( read Arm twisting) the Weak government at New Delhi to ban it in everywhere in India.
"The Coca-Cola company exists to benefit and refresh everyone it touches,” says the home page of the world’s largest soft drink company’s website. But in many parts of the world it is the other way aroundit touches ..yes...but the other part of the claim is not believed to be true by many....
See what the media reports about the Cola majors....
In Dankuni in West bengal, Plachimada in Kerala and Panama for polluting...
For rigging marketing tests in the USA and using slush funds to boost equipment sales...
For reportedly hiring Right-wing death squads to eliminate trade union organisers in Columbia and Guatemala...
For neglecting health problems of its employees in Africa....
Villagers of Palakkad’s Plachimada village in Kerala had been agitating against Coke’s bottling plant for several months but their plight drew global attention only recently after BBC Radio 4’s Face The Facts expose. Presenter John Waite visited Coke’s Plachimada plant after villagers complained of falling groundwater level in the area after Coke had started drawing it in huge quantities. Waite carried the samples of water and wastes sold by Coke as soil conditioner (but used by local farmers as fertiliser) back to the UK, where laboratory tests showed that they contained dangerous levels of cadmium. Tests at University of Exeter too showed the material was useless as a fertiliser and contained a number of toxic metals, including lead. But the company has been denying any wrongdoing.....
In Uttar Pradesh, sustained protests against Coke have prompted the Central Pollution Control Board to initiate a probe into the pollution being caused allegedly by Bharat Coca-Cola Bottling North East Private Ltd – a bottling arm of Coke – in Mehdiganj, 20 km from Varanasi......
In Maharashtra, villagers of Kudus in Thane district now have to travel long distances in search of water because it has dried up, thanks to Coke. Villagers have began questioning the subsidised water, land and tax breaks that Coke gets from the state, only to leave them more thirsty......
In Tamil Nadu, more than 7,000 people gathered in Sivaganga recently to protest against a proposed Coke plant.Protests are also building up against the sale of major Cauvery tributary Bhavani by Tamil Nadu government to Poonam Beverages for bottling Coke’s packaged water, Kinley. Despite the state facing drought conditions, the government effected the sale. .......
In Rajasthan, villagers of Kala Dera near Jaipur have been protesting against the fall in the groundwater level after a Coke plant started drawing water. After the firm set up a bottling plant, the area’s wells and ponds dried up......
I guess that would be enough.....
Now what is this story of "intended trouble making" doing here in this Advertising blog?
I am perplexed about the role of Advertising in Brand building....Is Image and Reputation managament a part of brand building.... If yes ,can advertising really save the situation, now that it has reached the streets where the vested interests and the genuinly concerned are all up in arms....
Now that this country where pollution is as routine as the air we breathe... the most polluted rivers, backwaters, air and atmosphere, where thecorrupt government turns a blind eye to all such issues, where the Pollution control board in more polluted than the effluents that they are supposedely monitoring,where the Minister in charge always takes refuge in evasive answers like" the matter isbeing examined" when confronted with stark realities...It is surprising that so many people are there in the field with their daggers and those they have rented out,drawn out......
But they are there and how are this Cola majors going to react? If Todays Pepsi ad ,Issued in Major news papers is any indication to go by ...alas this time again, they are going to do the same mistake that they did last time.... Ads really cant save you, God Damn it.... It is an Image management issue and It would be the efforts like PR and such stuff that can do some face saving....
when will you guys realise this...
First time you get a chance you are intellegent and they are foolish.....second time you get a chance they are intellegent and you are foolish....Third time....
There may not be a third time... and you simply cannot get away by proclaiming from the roof tops.....Piyo Sar Udakee....
Sunita Narayan of CSE ( the centre for science and environment,,,, for the uninitiated) has 'revealed' for the second time in three years that the level of pesticides in cola drinks is "Many" times greater than the limit allowed by the government. The furore has begun...States have sprung into action.... banning cola in schools and colleges...the state of Kerala is about to ban it in the whole state...and the Left is "guiding" ( read Arm twisting) the Weak government at New Delhi to ban it in everywhere in India.
"The Coca-Cola company exists to benefit and refresh everyone it touches,” says the home page of the world’s largest soft drink company’s website. But in many parts of the world it is the other way aroundit touches ..yes...but the other part of the claim is not believed to be true by many....
See what the media reports about the Cola majors....
In Dankuni in West bengal, Plachimada in Kerala and Panama for polluting...
For rigging marketing tests in the USA and using slush funds to boost equipment sales...
For reportedly hiring Right-wing death squads to eliminate trade union organisers in Columbia and Guatemala...
For neglecting health problems of its employees in Africa....
Villagers of Palakkad’s Plachimada village in Kerala had been agitating against Coke’s bottling plant for several months but their plight drew global attention only recently after BBC Radio 4’s Face The Facts expose. Presenter John Waite visited Coke’s Plachimada plant after villagers complained of falling groundwater level in the area after Coke had started drawing it in huge quantities. Waite carried the samples of water and wastes sold by Coke as soil conditioner (but used by local farmers as fertiliser) back to the UK, where laboratory tests showed that they contained dangerous levels of cadmium. Tests at University of Exeter too showed the material was useless as a fertiliser and contained a number of toxic metals, including lead. But the company has been denying any wrongdoing.....
In Uttar Pradesh, sustained protests against Coke have prompted the Central Pollution Control Board to initiate a probe into the pollution being caused allegedly by Bharat Coca-Cola Bottling North East Private Ltd – a bottling arm of Coke – in Mehdiganj, 20 km from Varanasi......
In Maharashtra, villagers of Kudus in Thane district now have to travel long distances in search of water because it has dried up, thanks to Coke. Villagers have began questioning the subsidised water, land and tax breaks that Coke gets from the state, only to leave them more thirsty......
In Tamil Nadu, more than 7,000 people gathered in Sivaganga recently to protest against a proposed Coke plant.Protests are also building up against the sale of major Cauvery tributary Bhavani by Tamil Nadu government to Poonam Beverages for bottling Coke’s packaged water, Kinley. Despite the state facing drought conditions, the government effected the sale. .......
In Rajasthan, villagers of Kala Dera near Jaipur have been protesting against the fall in the groundwater level after a Coke plant started drawing water. After the firm set up a bottling plant, the area’s wells and ponds dried up......
I guess that would be enough.....
Now what is this story of "intended trouble making" doing here in this Advertising blog?
I am perplexed about the role of Advertising in Brand building....Is Image and Reputation managament a part of brand building.... If yes ,can advertising really save the situation, now that it has reached the streets where the vested interests and the genuinly concerned are all up in arms....
Now that this country where pollution is as routine as the air we breathe... the most polluted rivers, backwaters, air and atmosphere, where thecorrupt government turns a blind eye to all such issues, where the Pollution control board in more polluted than the effluents that they are supposedely monitoring,where the Minister in charge always takes refuge in evasive answers like" the matter isbeing examined" when confronted with stark realities...It is surprising that so many people are there in the field with their daggers and those they have rented out,drawn out......
But they are there and how are this Cola majors going to react? If Todays Pepsi ad ,Issued in Major news papers is any indication to go by ...alas this time again, they are going to do the same mistake that they did last time.... Ads really cant save you, God Damn it.... It is an Image management issue and It would be the efforts like PR and such stuff that can do some face saving....
when will you guys realise this...
First time you get a chance you are intellegent and they are foolish.....second time you get a chance they are intellegent and you are foolish....Third time....
There may not be a third time... and you simply cannot get away by proclaiming from the roof tops.....Piyo Sar Udakee....
Saturday, August 05, 2006
an ad a day..
this is a series ..the first one I have already shared with you.... and more in the offing...
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Expect the unexpected ..Continued
The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one heck of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."
Joe was shocked and depressed.
He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.
As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.
He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need - a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."
The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long."
Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"
"Been in the business 60 years!"
Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?"
Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure."
The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeve and 16-1/2 neck."
Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"
"Been in the business 60 years!"
Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly.
As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?"
Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure."
The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see...9-1/2 E."
Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?"
"Been in the business 60 years!"
Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly.
Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?"
Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure."
The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see...size 36."
Joe laughed "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."
The salesman shook his head and said.........................................................
"You can't wear a size 34. A 34 underwear would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one heck of a headache."
dummmmmm.................................
ALWAYS get a second opinion......
************************************************************************
The creative guys in my story ,which I left half last day were as adamant as any other creative in any other agency.... but this time as there think tanks had gone dry, relented to hear the Junior executive .......
He said.... The client just want one message to be delivered... "Expect the unexpected"
The scene is an office.. a tough boss into his late 50's...tall.... fiery ..fiercesome... everyone is afraid of the guy...
The secretary to the boss... hot ..sizzling...sexy..tantalisingly exposing and exposedly tantalising......
The only weakness for the boss is this chik..the secretary...she is crawling in his blood and veins.... as a desire...as a forbidden fruit...
Wow... chuckled the young guys....
mmmm ...gruntled the old guys...
The man couldnt lay his mind open before the girl, for he doesnt know how she will react,,, if it happens to be on the negative side, then his good will may go down the drains....
One day the girl walks in ,as sexy as ever, and tells him... please come home sir, today evening , for a party... and she walks offff...
She turns around half way through and says invitingly... I am going to be alone at home...
THUD... our hero falls flat....He HAS heard what he wanted to hear...finally ( he thought) he has won her over..." tonight I would be rocking that dame..."
He goes over to her place... she is more sizzling , as she opens the door.. and invites him to the large sofa at the hall....
Pls bear with me for a moment .......she says, as she went inside.... im just back....
Our hero gets impatient.... he cant wait... he takes off his clothes and sits ready expecting the heroine to come for him to " rock"...
Trrrrrrrrrrrrr...
Opens the large curtain of the hall and hero looks back from his sofa in expectaion... but gets a shock of a life time......
There is his whole family....His wife..sons..daughters..son in laws..daughter in laws..grand kids.. the whole brigade...
Happy birthday to you...they sing and sing as they advance into the hall.....
And then they see him naked.....
Close up of the hero.. and a punch on his nose...
The caption appears..... XYZchocolates... "expect the unexpected".......
Oh God.... it is simply amazing.... the crowd seemed to be agreeing unanimously......
Idea..... it can come on anyone ..but not every one can accept it....
Joe was shocked and depressed.
He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.
As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.
He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need - a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."
The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long."
Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"
"Been in the business 60 years!"
Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?"
Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure."
The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeve and 16-1/2 neck."
Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"
"Been in the business 60 years!"
Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly.
As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?"
Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure."
The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see...9-1/2 E."
Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?"
"Been in the business 60 years!"
Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly.
Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?"
Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure."
The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see...size 36."
Joe laughed "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."
The salesman shook his head and said.........................................................
"You can't wear a size 34. A 34 underwear would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one heck of a headache."
dummmmmm.................................
ALWAYS get a second opinion......
************************************************************************
The creative guys in my story ,which I left half last day were as adamant as any other creative in any other agency.... but this time as there think tanks had gone dry, relented to hear the Junior executive .......
He said.... The client just want one message to be delivered... "Expect the unexpected"
The scene is an office.. a tough boss into his late 50's...tall.... fiery ..fiercesome... everyone is afraid of the guy...
The secretary to the boss... hot ..sizzling...sexy..tantalisingly exposing and exposedly tantalising......
The only weakness for the boss is this chik..the secretary...she is crawling in his blood and veins.... as a desire...as a forbidden fruit...
Wow... chuckled the young guys....
mmmm ...gruntled the old guys...
The man couldnt lay his mind open before the girl, for he doesnt know how she will react,,, if it happens to be on the negative side, then his good will may go down the drains....
One day the girl walks in ,as sexy as ever, and tells him... please come home sir, today evening , for a party... and she walks offff...
She turns around half way through and says invitingly... I am going to be alone at home...
THUD... our hero falls flat....He HAS heard what he wanted to hear...finally ( he thought) he has won her over..." tonight I would be rocking that dame..."
He goes over to her place... she is more sizzling , as she opens the door.. and invites him to the large sofa at the hall....
Pls bear with me for a moment .......she says, as she went inside.... im just back....
Our hero gets impatient.... he cant wait... he takes off his clothes and sits ready expecting the heroine to come for him to " rock"...
Trrrrrrrrrrrrr...
Opens the large curtain of the hall and hero looks back from his sofa in expectaion... but gets a shock of a life time......
There is his whole family....His wife..sons..daughters..son in laws..daughter in laws..grand kids.. the whole brigade...
Happy birthday to you...they sing and sing as they advance into the hall.....
And then they see him naked.....
Close up of the hero.. and a punch on his nose...
The caption appears..... XYZchocolates... "expect the unexpected".......
Oh God.... it is simply amazing.... the crowd seemed to be agreeing unanimously......
Idea..... it can come on anyone ..but not every one can accept it....
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