In the beginning was the Idea. ...
And then came the Story Outlines....
And the Story Outlines were without form....
And the Idea was without substance......
And darkness was upon the face of the Writers.....
And they spoke among themselves, saying, "It is a crock of shit, and it stinks."
And the Writers went unto the Creative Directors and said, "It is a pail of dung, and we can't live with the smell."
And the Directors went unto their bosses , saying, "It is a container of excrement, and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it."
And they said to themselves to self assure... "It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength."
And then spoke among themselves, saying to one another, "It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong."
And then went to the Vice Presidents, saying unto them, "It promotes growth, and it is very powerful."
And the Vice Presidents went to the President, saying unto him, "This new idea will actively promote the growth and vigour of the studio with very powerful effects."
And the President looked upon the Idea and saw that it was good......
And the Idea became an ad film......
And this is how shit happens......
Ram and Guru were running around working for their extremely expensive furniture client and wanted a little unusual and eye-catching stuff for their proposed full page color ad in a national magazine….Guru reported to Ram and Ram reported to GOD knows how many.. And this shoot and the project was so important that they (READ RAM.. Guru was just assisting him) had bet their lives on it….
Okay what the heck…..,( you feel ?…. ) everybody wants different and stunning, for everything from tires to treadmills, from charities to champagnes….here but we have a case where it meant a little extra. It could lead them into bagging the client’s first foray into TV advertising…. That is, if they did it and did it to the client’s satisfaction….(clients satisfaction is an imaginary entity like orgasm, it doesn’t exist and yet many fake it and worse as Men think we gave it ....agencies too think we gave it……)
Monotony was their selling point and familiarity became their differentiation by accident…
Stuff like “come…. See our price, we got the quality”, everyone looked, sounded and behaved the same…. Ram and Guru were in the team that won the pitch where some 7 ad agencies fought a bloody battle, sweated it out…agencies woke up from slumber, some even from their death beds and got into action. As in any pitch,this one too was a mix of comedy, politics, apathy, late nights, peeping Johnies, blame games, expectations, courage, creative outpour and a lot of celebrated humbug . Agency heads directly ASSume charge, as the client was big,(now a days even for the smallest corporate they do as any business is welcome) - lavishing their divine charm and diplomatic aristocracy-- people were given special charges..
Even expertise from outside was hired (OOF!!!) Individuals were identified for specific tasks. .research guys sprung in action, questionnaires, key boards, assuming, tabulating concluding what the consumers need, want, demand...media guys burnt their midnight and early morn oil to find some media where the new ads (assuming that the account is won) could be placed..Vox pops.. Field interviews..focus interviews... dealer opinion records ..Brainstorming ...creative blockbusting...Dictums like....“You can’t have an ego in this business, but be aware that everybody has lots of them"...7 day weeks.. Friends meaning four letter words..positioning statements............creative teams and briefs-who "will weave from its plain threads the rich tapestry of flackery that envelops a big idea" and then with all the hype and hoopla ,baggage and politics- proceed to the clients side for what the industry calls as 'pitching'.. When they won it RAM and GURU had the winners grin for sure but the loosers frown, GOD knew why….So when Ram said, “why not we put the sofa in the garden?” Guru tried not to look at him with some thing new to say or better idea to suggest because he knew how things worked here, in this industry and he simply listened. For guru the creative who was stuck in the post man work in client servicing, it had become the order of the day that “why not” means “do it”…
The client’s most beautiful sofa will be displayed and on it would be a gorgeous damsel in a black something with enough curves and curls exposed with a glass in her hand and suggestive looks in her eyes. Walking towards her and the sofa would be a handsome man in a white dinner jacket, also holding a glass. They will sit in the sofa and the sofa is so good that they will……well you know what…. It was literally evident where the evening was heading to and that it would not end on the front lawn for sure….The house to shoot was an issue… no good places were available and the ones who were ready weren’t good.. Or lacked the POSH look as Ram called it… The ones who said well may be we can but no trolleys.. No cameras… no light ups… if yes ok… They expected the crew to shoot from air, with cameras and lights hung from air and if possible, models too so that they don’t walk and spoil the expensive marbonites…
Ram was tense on the day of shoot but as it dawned bright he was a bit relaxed… it happened always with the guys in execution.. the concept makers sit in their plush cabins and make ideas… no matter how and how much it can be executed... Ideas in mind and ideas in execution are two different things boss...but… who cares?.
The shoot was to happen on a bright sunny day and has to happen on bright sunny day… and to Ram’s relief it was REALLY a bright sunny day… but as Guru put it, ‘it is like your temper Ram… it can change any minute…’
So it started off as a perfect day for the shoot and surprisingly the models came on time, and more surprisingly the MOTHER wasn’t there with the female model (they come not to protect the daughter, but to bargain for money,,, the lesser the costume, the higher the price)…and to Rams pleasure the house owners were courteous enough to let them use their private rooms, make up and dress change even though by that act of benevolence they deprived the local onlookers a chance to be far more interested in the shoot and pre shoot preparation…. But as they say.. it was Murphy’s day out and who can prevent something which was destined to happen???
To be continued...
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