He asks, "What are you doing?"
She replies, "I went to the doctor today, and he told me I have the breasts of a 25 year old."
The husband retorts, "Well, what did he say about your 50 year old ass?"
She replied, "Frankly dear, your name never came up."
It is a tale of a hell lot of asses -you and me included, but more importantly the millions who through out the world poured into streets burning effigies and shouting anti racist slogans, the Governments of India and the United kingdom, the media guardians, the moral police men and women, the human rights activists , the Toms , Dicks and Harrys, all of them who jumped into the arena taking sides, abusing, discussing, arguing ,debating and apparently falling flat on their faces now, as the sordid drama, which the channel C4 unearthed before a guffowed audience, making a mockery of all who thought it to be real...
It was a rivalry that was best summed up as ‘Beauty versus three beasts’ by a British tabloid....The Governments of Great Britain and India made official comments about the apparent racism incident in UK’s' Celebrity Big Brother' the reality show ,which flabbergasted the world. And then protestors in India burnt effigies and governements almost took it as a
' very important issue' that the house of commons discussed it thread bare, and then the whole show turns to be farce, a melodrama apparently penned by the greed of the producer, inked with the stupidity with which the genral public approach television....it is simply a ploy to make the ratings hit the roof top..here it has reached the sky..now going up still further......it is all fair in love and war... but advertising and the media business also addeed to it... many didnt know...
It was all fake -the whole controversy surrounding 'Celebrity Big Brother' and the alleged racial abuse reflecting the racism that still exists in 21st century Britain was simply the brainchild of a smart producer looking to jack up the TRP's of a show which was on the downhill as is revealed by many a reasons that have unravelled in the past one week or so...
According to British newspapers, until some days back, Celebrity Big Brother was sliding into obscurity, averaging 1.7 million viewers a night, until this display of prejudice pushed the figures up to 4.5 million amid a deluge of complaints(40,000 as per OFCOM with their mail boxes full)...... Now the show has seen an audience rise of more than 60 per cent in the last few days and for the channel it seems -to be known is the only motive, be it with a handcuff or in a coffin...
The drama but for sure has given rise to a new spectrum of thoughts and ways with which hereafter people will see the not so real reality shows as they would make out the real from the enacting as in case of the WWF performances....
Shilpa in any case as she set sail in a classic Indian sari and the namaste, stepped into the controversial house would have known the fate awaiting her there... for the kind of money that she was promised for the participation and the fortunes that will make her eyebrows still curve up,in case she wins( that seems to be the case now, but who knows what the script says?)...she knew that torture was going to be there and her colleagues would not definetely be treating her as a bollywood queen but instead putting her into endurance tests..... how could she have 'expected' that it is all going to be every one so very nice to everyone and goody goody nonsense..?
Germaine Greer writes in the guardian, an amazing eye opener about the whole stuff where she says .....Everything about her is infuriating: her haughty way of stalking about, her indomitable self-confidence, her chandelier earrings, her leaping eyebrows, her mirthless smile, her putty nose and her eternal bray, "Why does everyone hate me?" Not to mention the crying jags. What no one seems to have quite understood is that Shilpa is a very good actress. Everyone hates her because she wants them to. She also knows that if she infuriates people enough, their innate racism will spew forth..... now that is reality but the show never shows it.....
It is about celebrity antics, their tantrums, bitching one day, kissing the next, again the brawl and broil the next day...and the sham of claims that it is a' closed world and the participants are unaware 'about what is a happening outside... branding that it is a 'disgrace and so offensive that it is almost unwatchable' by bloggers everywhere.....
The media took it everwhere....the SUN website says: ' Here's your chance to prove Britain is not a nation of racists by voting Jade Goody out of the Celebrity Big Brother house' and some British tabloids criticised the programme-makers for a "shameful exercise in manipulation"... it was there everywhere..what more could have the producers fo the programme and the channel guys asked for?
Controversy is not new for the show....In 2004, police were called when drunk contestants nearly came to blows, and in 2005 the spectacular arrival of actor Sylvester Stallone's mother, Jackie, led to his ex-wife Brigitte Nielsen - also a contestant that season - breaking down in tears
.so the tale continues even in 2007....Tears, drama and final happy ending..which even puts bollywood masala flicks to shame... no bollywood script writer could even think of brewing up such a winning concosion out of such a well known formulae...Shilpa’s 'tormentor' Jade Goody, whose vitriolic outbursts are now everywhere in the net....has been booted out of the Big Brother’s house after a public vote on Friday. and who voted?....a whooping 82% ( that is more than five million people..) for ousting the racist Jade and as she bade farewell with "tears" ( oh not again..!!) and "apologies" the show landed up and took the millions who were glued on to their TV sets to a new level of ludicrous lunacy....
We saw Shilpa denying racism("When I actually thought about it, I know it's not a racism thing...people say things in anger.") and asking for a hug(oh Ma..) from the racist with whom she was in a visceral and viscious war with, till the last night, in the fairy tale end ( as of now) of the drama which millions of Britons helped convert the lesser known reality show into a Bollywood-style remake full of histrionics, melodrama and what not...an emotional reconciliation which, for many was too good to be true and bordering on the lines of insanity....
And though a key sponsor, Carphone Warehouse, has pulled out over accusations of racism, it’s unlikely to have a significant impact. If one sponsor has pulled out others would be lining up, given the number of eyeballs the show is getting and the eye balls are all popped out, as to what is next.. a murder on the sets(?), live ,hot and open for debate........
Of course the makers of the show, the tormentors, the besieged , the sponsors..... have had a big laugh there... but is it not killing of a golden goose?
Will reality shows ever be the same again....?
Or are people going to be the same,forever naive, no matter how many times we are going to be taken for this funny ride with our asses up and faces down, not in shame and ignominy but in glee and delight of having participated in a reality show?
I leave it to time, but then as I go let me share this piece with you...
This is an open letter( an Ad...) issued by the India Tourism office and widely appeared in the western media....
The open letter said: "Dear Jade Goody, Once your current commitments are over may we invite you to come and experience the healing nature of India. ... As a beauty therapist, you may be especially interested in visiting one of the many spas where you can cleanse your stresses away, enjoy yoga in the land that invented it and experience Ayurvedic healing, which promotes positive health and natural beauty....
We look forward to welcoming you soon,
yours sincerely,
India Tourism Office
Now that is what they call as identifying when to advertise and what to say, to whom, where and why not...?......
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