Bank on me....

The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody, but one girl laughed uproariously.

"What's the matter?" grumbled the boss. "Haven't you got a sense of humor?"

"I don't have to laugh," she replied. "I have already resigned from this god damn company..I'm leaving Friday"....

I remembered this joke when a colleague of mine with long stints in two different public sector firms , told me an old public sector story ,during lunch out today. They were making condoms- the largest in public sector (still making the old stinking condoms, probably unable to comprehend why condoms should have fragrances at the first place) and revenues came in bulk from large clients abroad. A large consignement after going through the ordeal of being tested with large volumes of air being blown in for endurance tests, was rejected because not many condoms could resist from breaking down. The client ( let us assume 'it' as some one in charge of UN anti aids programme where they distribute free and hence cheap ,stinking condoms in Africa) ostensibly annoyed and at his irritated best, called in the middle of a sultry Indian night and vent all his anger out....

The final compromise at the end of the long brawl, was that the company will send someone to go and explain to the Big Daddies in the US as to why this happened and save face.

Dummmmm... says my colleague... the threat that loomed over suddenly ,in a magical spell rains down as an oppurtunity....

"Who will go to US ? "...the inevitable question was raised........ soon to the chagrin of the very few left behind, almost every one was in the army which they called a " delegation". Now the question was" who is not going to the US?

Typical public sector like ...? right...?

I have also heard it from a friends father who worked and retired (hurt ,ofcourse) as a Director from another large public sector enterprise which managed hotels and palaces on behalf of the Governement . The minister in charge comes very often to "inspect" and to "check files" and when he comes he comes like the swam of locusts which infest the Northern part of India ,from Pakistan. His Friends and Family ofcourse part of his entourage ,but the crowd of penpullers an dpalanquin bearers creating most of the ruckus. He goes to the sea next to the prime hotel of the group in the choicest of locations in the tourist map and jumps from the boat, while his entourage claps and howls in a perfect comedy of error. The only person who was shell shocked was the Director who didnt ,even in his remotest of dreams would have imagined his Boss to indulge in such an act of feat.
The minister comes up later, but by the time poor old man is half dead and many such ministers descending from heaven with crazy ideas, funny attitudes and primitive cohorts, our man decide to call it a day.

Public sector ...he grumbles like Captain Haddock....will never improve.. either all of them will close down..or will swipe the country down the drain....

Here I am the new generation young man, with a university MBA..worked for advertising ..travelled and lived abroad....seen MNCs in their corporate offices....with all that paraphernelia, a modern
yoyo kid can ask for,what else will have but an inherent disdain for anything that is public sector?

I am sure most of you are in my shoes now...(step out ,because I need it back) but most of us I am afraid, are wrong...

Not that all our public sector companies are going for a u-turn and have suddenly realised the need to be modern and savvy..Most of them are the same and are gonna be the same until and unless their monopoly over the sector is challenged ... Then why do I say that it is time to change notions about the public sector?

Experiences buddy..experiences... I have told you what I had to undergo with the likes of ICICI bank..now for a new home loan I approached Union bank of India ( for the first time in the last 8 years or so ,ever since I fell in love with new generation banking and the plastic smiles there ,I havent stepped into the altar of one public sector bank...) and with unbounded scepticism and heartful of preconceived notions, I get my point across.

I need a loan ..to buy a house and in the process save some income tax....

I dont intend to euologise anyone here but let me confess ,that my notions were wrong .This guys, whom we call as public sector banks, seems to be working faster than the new gen modern banks.... May be this is only a sample and the sample may not be allways indicative of the population , but as of now this is my only experience with public sector banking and I am delighted..

No fuss, no hard talks, no sudden surprises, no hidden costs that spring from under the magicians sleeves, and absolutely no attitudes...

No different people who is all too willing to confuse you and make you fill thousands of boring columns, no valuator whose soul intention is to under value and throw you in a mess, and absolutely no hassles.

I am shocked, to say the least....... in a matter of 6 days my loan is ready and the manager calls me to say this..I repeat..the manager calls me to tell this.... In my previous loan with ICICI it could never happen..I bet it has never happened to any one who bank with private sector banks...

Am I becoming an evangelist here...?

I am not sure but I can see a change... a perceptible change.. a sweeping change...a phenomenal change... may be thanks are due to the competition thrown in by the private sector banks,which made life miserable for them? But I dont care the reason as long as I have the result.....

Public sector banks off late have started communicating too ,in line with the change which is still keeping me bedazzled......

The Indian bank ad for instance conveys the traditional" trust and faith" association which psu banks always claimed but adds "prompt and hassle free transactons"like the new gen banks do... the O&M touch is obvious but what is surprising is the change in the feel...Ditto the south indian bank ad feauturing the Carnatic maestro Balamurali krishna...and ditto many others....whether the clients will live up to the ads is a different question all together but going by the sample I had they will and if they will, the Indian psu banks are gonna come back ....

ICICI as a friend who works there remarked..I C I C Only I and that is the problem...

My Money was reinstated ..after a long 27 day gap.... How many such cases? How much money thus taken for rotation (of course reinstated after some 20 -30 days) and the profits thus made?
I now have strong conviction that it is not mere gaffe and oversight..it looks like a strategem .....

A deadly one....to say the least....