Thursday, November 23, 2006

The face lift....

A middle aged woman has a heart attack. While on the operating table she has a near death experience. She sees God, and asks if this is it.

God says no, that she has another 30-40 years to live.

She recovers, and decides to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, tummy tuck, hair dyed, etc. She figures since she's got another 30 or 40 years she might as well make the most of it.
She walks out of the hospital after the last operation and immediately gets hit by an ambulance.

She arrives in front of God and asks, "I thought you said I had another 30 or 40 years?"

To which God replies, "To tell you the truth, I didn't recognize you.".......


"New and Improved Moonbright "detergent was the approved caption that seemed like a run of the mill stuff. Every one in the Ad agency appeared to be fighting to be the 'proverbial King' with the "new clothes" ...In their heart of hearts, they for sure had the Kid in them who saw the fact- stripped threadbare....but no one would dare say that.......

Pranesh.... called Sagarika, the account superviser.....Pls help me.... whether we should come up with some thunder bolt or something like they made it for Rin.......

Or a colorguard...? said Tobiyas ,the funky yo-yo guy who worked in the creative team but spend his time with carrom boards and chat rooms.....

Or some Kidstains...? joined Hari ,the upstart Mallu guy who wanted to be in creatives but has ,as of now is settled with client servicing...

How about Dad stains.... laughed Pranesh the witty, grand old man of the agency.... or to get a bit dirty, let us say Momstains....?

uglypig... mumbled Sagarika....tell me pranesh..tell me what shall we do...

what does the client say?

Nothing ! or as good as nothing.... said Sagarika...they want us to say new and improved... the rest is left to us....

Typical... groping in the darkness .....are they ready for questions atleast? asked Pranesh

No way yaar ....they are not...they have no idea what they want Moonbright to be...they want the falling sales to go up...by hook or by crook.....

So again we have got this crook with four different detergent brands ,each one looking like the other one than itself, wanting us to differentiate, position and sell each one better than the other
..... sneered Tobiyas....

Moonbright is going to sink ...it is just an other pea in the same pod...... cried some one

And with them we shall also join...they are our only national client... with them down the drain whose account shall we plan? whose strategy shall we discuss and debate?

It is disgusting Pranesh....four years and im fed up
......bewailed Sagarika.....I admire you for the long innings you had..I simply want to retire and start a Bengali mess here.

That is good
...laughed Hari...I can atleast have some 'meenkari' there...

I make good 'Elish macher paturi 'and 'Chingri Maacher Kalia' ..you should taste them.... said a proud Sagarika

You make everything except good advertising..... guffawed Tobiyas...it is better to retire.

Thinks guys....said Pranesh...she atleast has a choice...what about you guys...? I will start teaching somewhere...become a professor and spend the rest of my life.....what will you do....

hey hey hey..let us get serious.... we have to crack this...we have to come up with something brilliant..something face lifting......you know something so fresh that the client should see us in disbeleif....said Sagarika with success already blushing out of her Bengali looks......

Ok... let us be serious ......said Pranesh..but Sag ,our man, this client of ours is an also ran, with no USP of his, wanting us to 'discover 'something for him..

Exactly......said Sagarika

Is this the cheapest in the category? asked Pranesh...

No..said Tobiyas.... and even if it is, lowest price as a USP would be a disaster...aint it?

Ya ya but let me think aloud...admitted Pranesh....using testimonials, guarantees, proof, or other benefit laden promises is the key feature of this category..right?

Absolutely ...Said Sagarika.... and moreover it is a clutter...every one..every ad looks the same..almost every one dips a horribly dirty apparel into a bucket and lift up one which sparkles and shines...

we will not use the same formulae....said Tobiyas

Then what will we do? asked Hari...

Is there any oppurtunity gap in the category? asked Pranesh....

Like for example.???.... enquired Sagarika

Like for example...well.....said Pranesh....I will tell you a story......A small town kid trying to pay his way through college decides to buy a little business on the edge of campus to come up with the money he needs to graduate. Full of enthusiasm and bright ideas, he recruits one of his buddy’s to help him. They come to the agreement that one of them will take day classes, one of them will take night classes, and they’ll alternate running the business. The plan is to do all the work themselves, sleep on cots in the back room, and pocket all of the profits that come in.
However, after a few months of working like dogs they discover they haven’t made a dime. As a matter of fact, they are losing money and going further into debt. Finally, his partner decides that he has had enough and quits the business. This forces our hero to drop out of school to try and make this crummy little business pay off. Fortunately, he somehow comes up with a service-based unique selling proposition that turns this little sink hole of a business into a profitable, thriving operation. In very little time he dominates his city, his state, and then his country. According to Fortune Magazine, he becomes one of the 1,000 wealthiest people in the US in less than 10 years.......


Mmmmmmm...that is inspiring....muttered Sagarika

What was the USP he discovered ?... Continued Pranesh.....Fresh, hot pizza in 30 minutes or less, guaranteed. On the strength of that service-based unique selling proposition, Tom Manahan dominated his industry. Now you’ll notice a number of lessons. One of the most important ones is that Tom Manahan exploited what is an “opportunity gap” He identified the one thing that annoyed his target audience about pizza delivery that all of his competitors did badly. He then fixed it and made it the center focus of his business. He never mentioned quality ingredients, special sauce, discounts, coupons, or even good pizza in his unique selling proposition. He was very specific about the deliverable.... fresh, hot pizza in 30 minutes or less. He didn’t say “fast”, “speedy”, “soon”, “faster than the other guy”, or “faster than a speeding bullet”. He said set your watch..... it will be there in 30 minutes or less.....

Wow..thats cool....said Sagarika...but here again I dont find any gap.....or is it that we havent thought about it that way...?

I guess the second one is probably true.... our client is a Wishy-washy neuter but so are we...am I right? said Pranesh....

The other three nodded their heads...it was easy to nod...it was empty....!!!

That calls for research...... and where do I get the money... cried Sagarika as she walked out of the room .....



Tail piece- Nothing makes a fish smarter than almost being caught....

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