Thursday, November 30, 2006

an ad a day..


Another wonder from fish eye creatives...Balaji and his team...and thanks to Reema for sending the works....
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Wednesday, November 29, 2006

and life goes on....!!


A woman is flying on a jumbo-jet to Europe. After they get up in the air the loudspeaker comes on:

"This is your captain Emilia Rodrigues. We are cruising at 35,000 feet .. etc. etc."

When the announcement is finished the woman passenger beckons to a stewardess and asks, "Is it really true that this great big airplane is being flown by a woman?"

"Yes, says the stewardess, Captain Rodrigues is a woman."

"How wonderful! I am so excited! Do you think you can arrange for me to go up to the cockpit to congratulate her?"

"Yes, I think I can arrange that. You might also like to know that the co-pilot is also a woman."

"Oh, how exciting. This is wonderful news! Please let me go to the cockpit so I can congratulate them both!"

"OK, you can do that. You might like to know that actually the entire crew of this plane are women."

"That is the most exciting thing I have heard in a long time ... this has really made my day ... I just have to go to the cockpit to express my admiration!"

"One more thing you might like to know ... we don't call it the cockpit any more."

Scene 1
Location- some where within the neat interiors of Media space- a Media planning agency

Hey did you hear that......

Whats the news?......

Kyonki maaji bhi kabhi beti thi in Moon tv is getting a TRP rating of 15 in HSM...is it not news..?

Oh that is a news..but how..?

They have made an image make over of Laxmy the heroine..now she will no longer be the poor ,ever suffering bahu..she will stand up and speak up...

Like the Judwaa bahen Hema malini in Geetha aur seetha..?

It is what the Bony Tv guys also did some time back and we were a happy lot then ....said someone

That is when we had bought bulk of their space which they had to sell..here it is not the case...

Yes and moreover we have heavily invested on Kahani tere ghar ki trusting the upswing TRP had shown then....it had reached 11 million people that gleeful wednesday night when Raaj agnihotri was ressurected from his grave.....

And now this K Soap is reaching 13 million, yesterday night....

My oh my...what a blunder....we have got space everywhere..in Big ass in Bony tv, Open sesame in Q Tv...every damn place except this $%^* ing soap.....

Now let us hope that KTGK will do some gimmick to save us...some deadbody walking in or the heroine getting a facelift or the Maaji becoming the Villian suddenly....

Scene 2

Location- Moon TV office..the crew, the programme producers,directors and others behind the channel and KMBKBT.......

Hurray.!!!...wine glasses go up on air and come down......

I never thought that this idea is gonna work...Laxmy could suddenly made to look sturdy and strong...

Her oily hair have gone ,her specs have dissappeared, her attire is trendy and her attitude is firebrand....

The 'all new improved Laxmy'.....

Yeh sirf Laxmy ka hi kamal nahim hai bhaiyya....it is the money which we spend on promos..... the constant bugging with which we told them that the new Laxmy is coming ......

Open any of our channels ,we were their telling them the change....

Whatever ....the trick is done....now the job is to maintain the interest.....

Aha...that is not that easy my brother....unless we decide to repeat the gimmick again....

We will make Laxmy a vamp... and make the Saasji, suddenly a Sati savitri...

And we will kill Madhu Verma..Laxmys husband...

Killing has two advantages...we can get the TRP souring and the sympathy and tears that are bound to flow... and later if needed we can make the guy come back, saying he hadnt died ...he had an amnesia and lost his way.....

The Idiots glued on to the boxes would buy anything..let us be sure about that....

Hahahahahahaha.....

Three cheers to Laxmy !!!

Scene 3

The producer Ms Sangita kapoor giving a speech during Indian television academy award function where they voted KMBKBT as the most popular soap of the year...

........Soap characters are like every day people, except that they are fictional. Soap people never age, or they age very rapidly,as in one night we made a laep of 18 years.....where children are children one day and teenagers the next!! Characters are always perfectly dressed, with perfect hair, perfect clothes, and perfect jobs,even while they are in their toilets..... where the money never runs out, where tears flow and rule and still make up remains intact as would ornaments pledged by a drunkard!...it takes you from an arc to another one...story lines and sub story lines, and charectors coming in and out, and their lives ,their wives, their inlaws and by the time you start to forget the main line we jump back only to jump out again....It is like God....where to start, where to end...good God..life is such a tale with such mysterious ends....!!!

Thank you for the award..let me promise you that I will keep coming for the next 5o years to accept this award...

May God Bless you!!

Last shot :- "What's wonderful about soap audiences is that they are unrelentingly forgiving. They have a fabulous capacity to treat you like a family member who has done wrong for a couple of years but has got his s&*t together."

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Did you know?

Did you know that Lynx /Axe -the only company that, over and over again, seems to successfully be able to milk sexual innuendo for all its worth ,has released yet another man-friendly amusement site 'filled' with women, who can't seem to keep their clothes on. This site,(hey..read the whole thing and click later) LynxBlow, offers visitors a chance to help a poor, freezing woman standing in the snow warm up by, yes, blowing at her through your computer's microphone. Unfortunately or fortunately for the viewer - when wind comes her way, her clothes get blown off. She doesn't seem to mind though and winks knowingly at the viewer like some sort of Eskimo exhibitionist with an Arctic freeze fetish.....

New communication channels...

The Axe way...


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Amaron= Still Amusing..



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Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Amaron=Amusing..



The Ogilvy and Mather creative touch....

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an ad a day..


done by Ogilvy&Mather Santaigo.....
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Saturday, November 25, 2006

The Fun Gun...

When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous "one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind" statement, but followed it by several remarks, usual communication traffic between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control.

Just before he re-entered the vehicle, however, he made the enigmatic remark "Good Luck Mr. Gorsky." Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs. Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what the "Good Luck Mr. Gorsky" statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled.

Then, on July 5, 1995 in Tampa Bay, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26-year-old question to Armstrong. This time he finally responded. Mr. Gorsky had died, and so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question.

"When I was a kid, I was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. My friend hit a fly ball, which landed in front of my neighbor's bedroom window. Our neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky. As I leaned down to pick up the ball, I heard Mrs.Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky. "Oral sex! You want oral sex? You'll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"

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Friday, November 24, 2006

Ericson = naughty



Brilliant ad from yesteryears....!!! note the V/O at the end which says the phone is surprisingly small...


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Thursday, November 23, 2006

The face lift....

A middle aged woman has a heart attack. While on the operating table she has a near death experience. She sees God, and asks if this is it.

God says no, that she has another 30-40 years to live.

She recovers, and decides to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, tummy tuck, hair dyed, etc. She figures since she's got another 30 or 40 years she might as well make the most of it.
She walks out of the hospital after the last operation and immediately gets hit by an ambulance.

She arrives in front of God and asks, "I thought you said I had another 30 or 40 years?"

To which God replies, "To tell you the truth, I didn't recognize you.".......


"New and Improved Moonbright "detergent was the approved caption that seemed like a run of the mill stuff. Every one in the Ad agency appeared to be fighting to be the 'proverbial King' with the "new clothes" ...In their heart of hearts, they for sure had the Kid in them who saw the fact- stripped threadbare....but no one would dare say that.......

Pranesh.... called Sagarika, the account superviser.....Pls help me.... whether we should come up with some thunder bolt or something like they made it for Rin.......

Or a colorguard...? said Tobiyas ,the funky yo-yo guy who worked in the creative team but spend his time with carrom boards and chat rooms.....

Or some Kidstains...? joined Hari ,the upstart Mallu guy who wanted to be in creatives but has ,as of now is settled with client servicing...

How about Dad stains.... laughed Pranesh the witty, grand old man of the agency.... or to get a bit dirty, let us say Momstains....?

uglypig... mumbled Sagarika....tell me pranesh..tell me what shall we do...

what does the client say?

Nothing ! or as good as nothing.... said Sagarika...they want us to say new and improved... the rest is left to us....

Typical... groping in the darkness .....are they ready for questions atleast? asked Pranesh

No way yaar ....they are not...they have no idea what they want Moonbright to be...they want the falling sales to go up...by hook or by crook.....

So again we have got this crook with four different detergent brands ,each one looking like the other one than itself, wanting us to differentiate, position and sell each one better than the other
..... sneered Tobiyas....

Moonbright is going to sink ...it is just an other pea in the same pod...... cried some one

And with them we shall also join...they are our only national client... with them down the drain whose account shall we plan? whose strategy shall we discuss and debate?

It is disgusting Pranesh....four years and im fed up
......bewailed Sagarika.....I admire you for the long innings you had..I simply want to retire and start a Bengali mess here.

That is good
...laughed Hari...I can atleast have some 'meenkari' there...

I make good 'Elish macher paturi 'and 'Chingri Maacher Kalia' ..you should taste them.... said a proud Sagarika

You make everything except good advertising..... guffawed Tobiyas...it is better to retire.

Thinks guys....said Pranesh...she atleast has a choice...what about you guys...? I will start teaching somewhere...become a professor and spend the rest of my life.....what will you do....

hey hey hey..let us get serious.... we have to crack this...we have to come up with something brilliant..something face lifting......you know something so fresh that the client should see us in disbeleif....said Sagarika with success already blushing out of her Bengali looks......

Ok... let us be serious ......said Pranesh..but Sag ,our man, this client of ours is an also ran, with no USP of his, wanting us to 'discover 'something for him..

Exactly......said Sagarika

Is this the cheapest in the category? asked Pranesh...

No..said Tobiyas.... and even if it is, lowest price as a USP would be a disaster...aint it?

Ya ya but let me think aloud...admitted Pranesh....using testimonials, guarantees, proof, or other benefit laden promises is the key feature of this category..right?

Absolutely ...Said Sagarika.... and moreover it is a clutter...every one..every ad looks the same..almost every one dips a horribly dirty apparel into a bucket and lift up one which sparkles and shines...

we will not use the same formulae....said Tobiyas

Then what will we do? asked Hari...

Is there any oppurtunity gap in the category? asked Pranesh....

Like for example.???.... enquired Sagarika

Like for example...well.....said Pranesh....I will tell you a story......A small town kid trying to pay his way through college decides to buy a little business on the edge of campus to come up with the money he needs to graduate. Full of enthusiasm and bright ideas, he recruits one of his buddy’s to help him. They come to the agreement that one of them will take day classes, one of them will take night classes, and they’ll alternate running the business. The plan is to do all the work themselves, sleep on cots in the back room, and pocket all of the profits that come in.
However, after a few months of working like dogs they discover they haven’t made a dime. As a matter of fact, they are losing money and going further into debt. Finally, his partner decides that he has had enough and quits the business. This forces our hero to drop out of school to try and make this crummy little business pay off. Fortunately, he somehow comes up with a service-based unique selling proposition that turns this little sink hole of a business into a profitable, thriving operation. In very little time he dominates his city, his state, and then his country. According to Fortune Magazine, he becomes one of the 1,000 wealthiest people in the US in less than 10 years.......


Mmmmmmm...that is inspiring....muttered Sagarika

What was the USP he discovered ?... Continued Pranesh.....Fresh, hot pizza in 30 minutes or less, guaranteed. On the strength of that service-based unique selling proposition, Tom Manahan dominated his industry. Now you’ll notice a number of lessons. One of the most important ones is that Tom Manahan exploited what is an “opportunity gap” He identified the one thing that annoyed his target audience about pizza delivery that all of his competitors did badly. He then fixed it and made it the center focus of his business. He never mentioned quality ingredients, special sauce, discounts, coupons, or even good pizza in his unique selling proposition. He was very specific about the deliverable.... fresh, hot pizza in 30 minutes or less. He didn’t say “fast”, “speedy”, “soon”, “faster than the other guy”, or “faster than a speeding bullet”. He said set your watch..... it will be there in 30 minutes or less.....

Wow..thats cool....said Sagarika...but here again I dont find any gap.....or is it that we havent thought about it that way...?

I guess the second one is probably true.... our client is a Wishy-washy neuter but so are we...am I right? said Pranesh....

The other three nodded their heads...it was easy to nod...it was empty....!!!

That calls for research...... and where do I get the money... cried Sagarika as she walked out of the room .....



Tail piece- Nothing makes a fish smarter than almost being caught....

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an ad a day..


A Cannes silver winner from Euro RSCG Bangkok


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Wednesday, November 22, 2006

an ad a day..






















Excellent work by Fisheye creatives Bangalore...


It is what is called out of the box thinking, with the box intact..



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Did you KNOW?

Did you know that Eastman Kodak Co is planning to consolidate its $100 million-plus global media-buying and -planning business, now scattered at various agencies including WPP Group's MindShare and Aegis Group's Carat?


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Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Ad nauseam...

A boy comes home from school and tells his mother he's been given a part in the school play.

"Wonderful. What part is it?"

The boy says,"I play the part of the Jewish husband."

The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part."

********************************************************************



Yes... you are right - laughed Abhinav, the heavy weight boss of LMNOP Ad agency- we are going to use the same old cliche..

But Abhinav ..isnt it boring ..I mean using the same old stereotype?- asked the young and naive trainee executive ( let us call him 'Vishal the hapless'..) the mother in law- daughter in law stuff...?

It is but in advertising we dont have a choice buddy... what others call as stereo types, we have to call as life savers....

Have you not heard of a Dutch uncle with British teeth taking a French shower? .....asked the boss with a grin ...

And of the Dutch doors... laughed the creative guru with others joining him.....

Vishal of course hadnt seen the world like they had but for sure knew that they were talking stereotypes....

But Ranga..he questioned the creative guru... will we not be accused of promoting stereo types..?

Damn it ...said the boss.... accused by whom?...why the hell are you bothered about others..what is our job? ...to serve the society ..or to sell our clients crap, whatever it may be..?
And in any case... interrupted Ranga in his typical TamBrahm accent...stereotypes were always thereda.....havent u heard..? What does the bee do? Bring home honey.And what does Father do? Bring home money.And what does Mother do? Lay out the money.....And what does baby do? Eat up the honey..... all such putative stuff?

goodness gracious !!!! exclaimed Vishal...

And the fair skin...? did we discover the obsession?..did we...? Did we cultivate the belief that women are dumbos and can do nothing but spend..? demanded the boss...

Well I guess It was there always......mumbled Vishal......

It is..it is ab ovo as they call it...said Abhinav...

And we simply harp on it... said Ranga

Exploit it rather....Vishal fired a rejointer .....arent we pretending blind to the fact that there are women who are frugal and there are squanderers who happen to be men.....

Let it be...but if the god damn buyer doesnt have a problem then why should we....? asked Abinav

When there are dogs to buy biscuits, why the hell should we bark?...... completed Ranga

But Ranga.... persisted Vishal...

Hey kick on his butt....this doubting thomas....laughed Abhinav

Buddy let me tell you....said Ranga....see, we are in this business of communicating in small slots like 30 and 40 seconds..right?

Here there is no option many a times ,but to stereotype......suppose we have to show a tough boss unlike Abhinav, somebody who works ..somebody who means business....said Ranga while Abhinav badmouthed and Vishal sat shocked...How will you do that?

Will you waste time ..a valuable 10-15 seconds and draw a picture of this guy......show examples of his toughness or simply use a stereotype like a rough looking guy with a hefty mush and the trembling office edifices and utensils as the guy walks in...? Smiled Ranga as he made his point...

Well I guess you are right......Mumbled vishal...to save time we may have to......

Not only to save time yaar...said Abhinav....it is easy understanding....a fat over made up lady invariably leaves a gossippy air around her..... such a charector like in our latest ad for Burgeon paints becomes inevitable......

She can come in and start gossipping..she need not give an intro..her stereotyped looks will take care of that part....said Ranga....

Vishal thought for a while.... he understood what he his mentors were saying but one thing kept perturbing his mind....

"If it was all about following what others have done.....

Following formulae and not experimentation.............

Following the herd like sheep would do........ why is advertising called a creative business...?"



Tailpiece: 'Indian telegram: 'Begin worrying. Details to follow.'

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One year of Blogging..!!!

Ram received a parrot for his birthday.

The parrot was fully grown, but with a very bad attitude and worse vocabulary.mmmmmm!!!

Every other word was an expletive; those that weren't expletives were, to say the least, rude.

He tried to change the bird's attitude by constantly saying polite words, playing soft music... anything he could think of. .....Nothing worked........

He yelled at the bird, and the bird got worse. He shook the bird, and the bird got madder and more rude. Finally, in a moment of desperation, he put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird swearing, squawking, kicking and screaming and then, suddenly, there was absolute quietness. Ram was frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird, and quickly opened the freezer door.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto Ram's extended arm and said, "I'm sorry that I offended you with my language and my actions, and I ask your forgiveness. I will endeavor to correct my behavior".
Ram was astounded at the changes in the bird's attitude and was about to ask what had changed him, when the parrot continued,

"May I ask what the Chicken did?"

****************************************************************

Adformula is ONE year old today...!!!

Am I excited?

With something which I started to vent my thoughts about the business which I love to love and hate- Advertising- souring heights with people reading, laughing, loving, commenting,criticising, ridiculing,appreciating,consoling,encouraging and motivating, now it has become a sort of religion for me....

I am excited.... and you can see it in the new template....

Wherever you are, very many thanks for partaking this feeling...!!!!


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The world is flat...


Honda thrills....

http://www.honda.co.uk/civic/?campaignid=CM038200W01D&advertiserid=email&bannerid=vemail


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Monday, November 20, 2006

Hamara bajaj = Nostalgia



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an ad a day..














advertising for accessories..!!!


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Saturday, November 18, 2006

The Fun Gun...

A man escapes from a prison where he had been kept for 15 years. As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it, looking for money and guns, but only finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him up in a chair. While tying the girl up to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, then gets up, and goes to the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband tells his wife.... "Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail, and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you, just give him satisfaction. This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which the wife responds, "He was not kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong, honey, I love you, too."

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Have a happy weekend folks..!!!

Friday, November 17, 2006

The fun gun !!!!!!!

After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were three finalists: two men and a woman.

For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow our instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. "Kill her!!!".

The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife."
The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."
The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow. "This gun is loaded with blanks," she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."

Let me guess here that you would have got the moral of the story ...... It is about evil...and now let me share with you another story of evil, this time in the clients form torturing an agency to death.....

From me...

Here is one ranking which adformula has secured..
thanks to every one ....
http://blogannounce.info/business/marketing_advertising/?s=P

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an ad a day..


tired...?
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Did you KNOW?


Did you know that Benetton is the latest to jump into blogging bandwagon... see Benetton Talk which they say is "a place to ponder global themes and stuff we think we all should care about. Environment, rights, diversity, local communities, development… The goal is to highlight what is too often silenced by the media noise".


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Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Flying the good times ...

The couple decided to divorce and the lady agreed to releive the man ,on the promise that he will give her their home as a compensation. But once the papers were ready and the courts legally divorced them, the man backtracked and ordered her to get out of the house immedeatly while he went for a tour with his new girl friend....
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.....

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things......

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of Champaigne.When she had finished, she went into each and every Room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.......

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steamed. Air Fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.....

Nothing worked.......

People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit......Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and eventually even the local real estate guys refused to return their calls.......

Finally,they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place. The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back. Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a Price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home...........including the curtain rods.

Little Rosh would be about ten months , seated behind me in his mothers lap, in the Kingfisher flight from Bangalore ( I hate calling the place Bangaloruu..forgive me hardcore guys) to Cochin ......The flight took off and the lad started crying...his hapless mother( I didnt ask her name, because it would be improper) had a tough time with the infant refusing to be tied up in the infant seat belt, and no amount of convincing and cajoling would tame him.....

Then appeared Leena- the inflight hostess for making sure that the 'guests' (Kingfisher calls the traveller a guest not a passenger or a customer...a simple thing but it made a huge difference) Leena had an amazing presence of mind, a charming face, and a captivating smile and above all she understood her job....God knows how,but the lad stopped his bawl....the toys which she managed..the smile with which he took him and walked up and down the aircraft, while also doing her other duties like serving food.....

I dont want to call it an outstanding act, because it is part of her job, as Philip Kotler says, "part of the expected product".... But I would definetely call it an out of the way effort to make the passenger feel the good times that they promised...
Kingfisher is notable for the change that they have bought into the Indian skies......of course they are no Airdeccan and they definitely do not want to flaunt the common man tag... they promise class and they deliver it......starting from the reception to baggage assistance to the red interiors which is a welcome change compared to the drab interiors of aircrafts that we are used to.
The handpicked crew (Dr Vijay Mallaya claims that he has handpicked them....mmmm) is capable and competent...... the in-flight entertainment as well as the food was a welcome change against the Airline food that all of us love to hate.


Their communication speak of 'feeling the good times' and they deliver it ...

“The Kingfisher Airlines family will consistently deliver a safe, value-based and enjoyable travel experience to all our guests” ... they claim and my experience atleast proves that they actually make promises and also deliver them...

Isnt that a reason to be delightful?.....

Their agency- Equus Red Cell should be a happy lot to be able to work for such enlightened a client....

The entire experience from the airport services (arrival at airport, check-in counter, boarding) were excellent. In-flight services were good and we were really treated as if we were at your house (as you also claim in your welcome message on the screen). The air-hostesses were at their best at serving all kinds of people.....It is also interesting to note that you have taken personal care to recruit, train and design even the stylish uniforms for the air-hostesses and worked at minutest of details...very many thanks...

Says an 'authentic customer feed back' out up in the Kingfisher website....

Now for those who doubt the authenticity, let me share with you what little Rosh's mother told me as we disembarked and walked toward the arrival terminal....

I have travelled in all others but this one delighted me...I guess hereafter we will travel in Kingfisher only.....

I hope that others too get the message and make flying in India a better experience...

If you promise you have to deliver....most of them under deliver and make a travellers life hopeless and bleak...

Promises are like making babies....easy to make but difficult to deliver.....

Am I right?
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Monday, November 13, 2006

only in India..



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Bank on me....

The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody, but one girl laughed uproariously.

"What's the matter?" grumbled the boss. "Haven't you got a sense of humor?"

"I don't have to laugh," she replied. "I have already resigned from this god damn company..I'm leaving Friday"....

I remembered this joke when a colleague of mine with long stints in two different public sector firms , told me an old public sector story ,during lunch out today. They were making condoms- the largest in public sector (still making the old stinking condoms, probably unable to comprehend why condoms should have fragrances at the first place) and revenues came in bulk from large clients abroad. A large consignement after going through the ordeal of being tested with large volumes of air being blown in for endurance tests, was rejected because not many condoms could resist from breaking down. The client ( let us assume 'it' as some one in charge of UN anti aids programme where they distribute free and hence cheap ,stinking condoms in Africa) ostensibly annoyed and at his irritated best, called in the middle of a sultry Indian night and vent all his anger out....

The final compromise at the end of the long brawl, was that the company will send someone to go and explain to the Big Daddies in the US as to why this happened and save face.

Dummmmm... says my colleague... the threat that loomed over suddenly ,in a magical spell rains down as an oppurtunity....

"Who will go to US ? "...the inevitable question was raised........ soon to the chagrin of the very few left behind, almost every one was in the army which they called a " delegation". Now the question was" who is not going to the US?

Typical public sector like ...? right...?

I have also heard it from a friends father who worked and retired (hurt ,ofcourse) as a Director from another large public sector enterprise which managed hotels and palaces on behalf of the Governement . The minister in charge comes very often to "inspect" and to "check files" and when he comes he comes like the swam of locusts which infest the Northern part of India ,from Pakistan. His Friends and Family ofcourse part of his entourage ,but the crowd of penpullers an dpalanquin bearers creating most of the ruckus. He goes to the sea next to the prime hotel of the group in the choicest of locations in the tourist map and jumps from the boat, while his entourage claps and howls in a perfect comedy of error. The only person who was shell shocked was the Director who didnt ,even in his remotest of dreams would have imagined his Boss to indulge in such an act of feat.
The minister comes up later, but by the time poor old man is half dead and many such ministers descending from heaven with crazy ideas, funny attitudes and primitive cohorts, our man decide to call it a day.

Public sector ...he grumbles like Captain Haddock....will never improve.. either all of them will close down..or will swipe the country down the drain....

Here I am the new generation young man, with a university MBA..worked for advertising ..travelled and lived abroad....seen MNCs in their corporate offices....with all that paraphernelia, a modern
yoyo kid can ask for,what else will have but an inherent disdain for anything that is public sector?

I am sure most of you are in my shoes now...(step out ,because I need it back) but most of us I am afraid, are wrong...

Not that all our public sector companies are going for a u-turn and have suddenly realised the need to be modern and savvy..Most of them are the same and are gonna be the same until and unless their monopoly over the sector is challenged ... Then why do I say that it is time to change notions about the public sector?

Experiences buddy..experiences... I have told you what I had to undergo with the likes of ICICI bank..now for a new home loan I approached Union bank of India ( for the first time in the last 8 years or so ,ever since I fell in love with new generation banking and the plastic smiles there ,I havent stepped into the altar of one public sector bank...) and with unbounded scepticism and heartful of preconceived notions, I get my point across.

I need a loan ..to buy a house and in the process save some income tax....

I dont intend to euologise anyone here but let me confess ,that my notions were wrong .This guys, whom we call as public sector banks, seems to be working faster than the new gen modern banks.... May be this is only a sample and the sample may not be allways indicative of the population , but as of now this is my only experience with public sector banking and I am delighted..

No fuss, no hard talks, no sudden surprises, no hidden costs that spring from under the magicians sleeves, and absolutely no attitudes...

No different people who is all too willing to confuse you and make you fill thousands of boring columns, no valuator whose soul intention is to under value and throw you in a mess, and absolutely no hassles.

I am shocked, to say the least....... in a matter of 6 days my loan is ready and the manager calls me to say this..I repeat..the manager calls me to tell this.... In my previous loan with ICICI it could never happen..I bet it has never happened to any one who bank with private sector banks...

Am I becoming an evangelist here...?

I am not sure but I can see a change... a perceptible change.. a sweeping change...a phenomenal change... may be thanks are due to the competition thrown in by the private sector banks,which made life miserable for them? But I dont care the reason as long as I have the result.....

Public sector banks off late have started communicating too ,in line with the change which is still keeping me bedazzled......

The Indian bank ad for instance conveys the traditional" trust and faith" association which psu banks always claimed but adds "prompt and hassle free transactons"like the new gen banks do... the O&M touch is obvious but what is surprising is the change in the feel...Ditto the south indian bank ad feauturing the Carnatic maestro Balamurali krishna...and ditto many others....whether the clients will live up to the ads is a different question all together but going by the sample I had they will and if they will, the Indian psu banks are gonna come back ....

ICICI as a friend who works there remarked..I C I C Only I and that is the problem...

My Money was reinstated ..after a long 27 day gap.... How many such cases? How much money thus taken for rotation (of course reinstated after some 20 -30 days) and the profits thus made?
I now have strong conviction that it is not mere gaffe and oversight..it looks like a strategem .....

A deadly one....to say the least....

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Thursday, November 09, 2006

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Did you KNOW?

Did you know that an internal memo that O&M send to its staff got leaked and is going around in the networld..It is argued that it is a Living proof that Big Dumb Agencies (BDA’s) get dumber by the day.....

here is it for you....

As you all have heard by now, we didn't bring home the Wal-Mart business this week. The final decision does not take place until later today, officially, but we wanted to at least connect with everyone about Wal-Mart before the week was out. The short story is that we didn't win it. The longer story is that the Wal-Mart client was relentless in their praise of our people, our thinking, our pride and of the overall caliber of the agency.
The real story is that a truly amazing group of people work at Ogilvy, and that group turned out an idea and a pitch that was as good or better than anybody could ever hope to deliver. We have never been prouder to work at Ogilvy than on the day we pitched that business. And "Ogilvy" means everybody, all disciplines, all departments...everybody. Wal-Mart went with Draft/FCB based on their perception of where their business was headed.
So be it..... We wish them well.
We are a great agency. We were a great agency last week and we're a better one this week. Our most sincere thanks go to everyone who worked on the pitch. And we do mean everyone. As ever, the New Biz team pulled off miracles on a daily basis, so a special thanks to them. Enjoy the weekend. Be proud.
Know there are a lot more fish in the sea......

comments please...!!!!

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Tuesday, November 07, 2006

ooh ....aah ...India

Pepsi again....

This time in a campaign which sounds more like the old Iodex campaign which said ooh.. aah ...ouch...

Saurav ganguly and Shahrukh khan was choosen to convince us to cheer India ,which went for the ICC Champions Trophy cricket match and have lost it all in one of the most dismal of playing in the recent past......

The campaign is touching"creatively lowest"points accoring to one review that I got to read.....

Shah Rukh Khan also flagged off Pepsi's 'Blue Billion Express' as fans left for Jaipur to cheer the Indian team that took on England in the match..... and in the train were....Rajeev Bakshi, John Abraham and former Miss World Priyanka Chopra - both Pepsi ambassadors . While in Jaipur, the cheerleading team chanted - Ooh Aah India, Aah Yaa India .....Drama....a very interesting case of a possible 360 communication going haywire....

Psuedo nationalism and such crap will not work in peaceful times or you have to be in the third reich...JWT ( Just waste of Time..?) has done a bad job again with an over acting Shahrukh ( suffering still from the bath tub syndrome aka the Lux disorder) and a former captain who once the media hailed as the Prince of Calcutta, begging to win back a place in the Indian cricket sqad...Having dumped into bad times-both the Brand and the Brand Endorser give the impression, that 'Sympathy-Votes' can only get them any life , hereafter...

I was reading through a news article today which said that Pepsi, has decided to call off the campaign " in the light of the not so good performance of the Indian team"...

Soft words indeed for the crushing defeat that ooh.. aah ...India seems to be taking home back after every sojourn......

The blue billion express and the cricket exhibition in it with the pepsi attempt to create a billion member fan club....all have come to a halt....

Mere naam Sourav Ganguly hai .....lamented the man who led the national team for quite some time, in an emotional strategy that reeks filth .... Shahrukh even displays some tears.....Sob..sniff..and they want us to believe that this emotion-ka-loose-motion is gonna work....

The campaign could still take on..the train can still start running minus the bag, baggage and burden of the failed dada and the failing don....

In short it is an awful display of sadism ,flavoured with fear of letdown which has proven to be true and spot on......

it pains..and when it pains the old Iodex one liner comes to mind...

Ooh Aah Ouch.....

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you have an SMS...



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Monday, November 06, 2006

From me...

Im off to Bangalore..oops...Bangaluru... on a five day official visit...
Im trying to make sure that it doesnt affect my blogging but in case it affects then please treat it as a commercial break and as they say in tv...

'dont go away, i will be right back'....

Do the Dew -part 2



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The world is flat...

For commercials from the UK...
http://www.adwatch.tv/
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Saturday, November 04, 2006

The Fun Gun...

An American automobile company and a Japanese auto company decided to have a competitive boat race on the Detroit River.

Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they were as ready as they could be.
The Japanese team won by a mile.Afterwards, the American team became discouraged by the loss and their morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A Continuous Measurable Improvement Team of "Executives" was set up to investigate the problem and to recommend appropriate corrective action.
Their conclusion: The problem was that the Japanese team had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, whereas the American team had 1 person rowing and 8 people steering. The American Corporate Steering Committee immediately hired a consulting firm to do a study on the management structure.
After some time and billions of dollars, the consulting firm concluded that "too many people were steering and not enough rowing."
To prevent losing to the Japanese again next year, the management structure was changed to "4 Steering Managers, 3 Area Steering Managers, and 1 Staff Steering Manager" and a new performance system for the person rowing the boat to give more incentive to work harder and become a six sigma performer.
"We must give him empowerment and enrichment." That ought to do it.
The next year the Japanese team won by two miles.The American Corporation laid off the rower for poor performance, sold all of the paddles, cancelled all capital investments for new equipment, halted development of a new canoe, awarded high performance awards to the consulting firm, and distributed the money saved as bonuses to the senior executives.
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Friday, November 03, 2006

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