Friday, September 19, 2008

The MAD agency -Part 1

While on a car trip, an old couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. The old woman unfortunately left her glasses on the table, but didn't miss them until they were back on the highway. By then, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around.....
The old man fussed and complained all the way back to the restaurant, telling his wife how she needs to be more responsible about her belongings.
When they finally arrived, as the old woman got out of the car to retrieve her glasses the old man said, "While you're in there, you may as well get my hat, too."
***************************************************************
Ram panicked!!

He wanted to tell it to some one about this new googly that their real estate client ( whom they had won after a gory pitch-ing battle with other majors, minors, creative hot shops, creative labs, boutiques and who not in war with daggers and swords drawn out… ) was now throwing…

Dream homes had been a demanding client ever since Ram and team won the account for their agency who off late had been seeing a lot of client turnover and hence the wrath from their management sitting at distant Mumbai. This as usual let to a scramble for clients, big or small, good or bad… anyone who had some money that was left out after meeting their expenses was a client. Business development was a function that the client service execs were expected to do, the logic being “what to service if we do not have clients?”

Ram was a seasoned player and why not ….
As the director of client services, he had seen most of them, dealt with the good, the bad and the ugly pigs...
Had been through the whims and eccentric fancies of the clients whose demands many times had less to do with their brands in question and their future , and more to do with persons simple and stupid idiosyncrasies ...
Fought with them knowing very well that it was he who was getting dirty, and not the pig ,also knowing that the last laugh is not going to be his…
Had been tortured by the simple “change the colour demands” to “make the logo bigger” tothe worst "I Know Everything" and "what the bloody FUCK you think YOU are doing with MY brand" ? types…
Have survived his impulses to quit the gruesome thankless job were dreadful and blood thirsty clients shouted and shouted often for no reason and sometimes for foolish reasons…
Have grown above the old ramblings and grumbles as to how unrealistic clients could be….

Guru…. He shouted from his 5*4 cabin where the whole world seemed to have dumped its garbage, and from where he tried executing his ideas on strategic branding and positioning on the brands at his disposition, often in vain being shot down by the brand managers who had thousand reasons versus one or two that his team would demonstrate …

Yes Ram … pat came the reply…. I am busy in a game

Ram banged out, just to see his protégé, Guru the CSE, who also doubled up as the BDO engaged in a serious round of bridge game with the beautiful and young copy writer trainee whose days in the agency was just handful…

What the fuck? Ram lost his temper…

Guru… Dream homes want to see us….

Bloody losers .. Guru whispered in scant attention to what Ram said …

And we will loose even that bloody looser unless we put our acts together…. Rambled Ram…

What man? Guru lost interest in his game with the gratuitous aggression launched by his senior and the belligerence with which Ram seemed to be persisting…

And what happened to the eat n pack hotel copy? Ram asked the damsel who, had by the time learned the tricks of the trade, inspired by the likes of Guru ...

Its going on …she said with a smile as Guru chucked in mirth happy at the development that the girl had in a weeks time…She had come to write and write and was happy at the writing skills that she thought she had possessed, and was even more happier to get her dream ad agency job, in spite of the pittance that she would be taking home at the end of the month….

No one works here…shouted Ram…. bloody goofers….

As he thundered back to his office Guru followed him signaling the girl to go back and pretend to be working, until he gets back and restart another game…

Now what boss.. Guru asked feigning gravity, sitting in a chair opposite Ram whose face looked like a harvested field with worries and qualms, written large as wrinkles and lines…

You look older than what you are.. said Guru in a pacifying tone… and that is because you get worried unnecessarily ….

WHAT? Ram almost stood up, this time really frightening Guru ...

Are you selling some anti ageing crème to me? asked Ram sarcastically... and what the fuck you mean unnecessary?

Guru sat grim faced, waiting for his Boss to take the actual topic….

Dream homes have sent back the latest copies that we send …. the Brand Manager says kuch masti nahim aya … kuch rang missing hai !!!

ah… guru gasped for a second and then tried for words… it was he who had at last managed to get a verbal approval of the worst client in the history of advertising ( according to Guru himself who was the frontline army from Rams team dealing with the account)…. Is that a reason Ram ?...... masti ….M%%^&&*

Anything is a reason man… why should we debate over that again? Said Ram who sank into his chair…

Now what? asked Guru…

Ram sat there like a question mark literally and figuratively …

What are the changes that they want? Asked Guru the bold, he knew the answers but he also knew he had to face it….

Every time an ad was made..right from the vague client brief dissection to ideation ,brain storming and blame storming to the execution of wild ideas, the brains cluttered together, confused, confessed and confined, astray and astute, wild and vivid, varied and voracious, vocal and vociferous....everyone thought thought and thought.. crap and holy crap evolved and some sense was churned out at last which went to the design stage......

Now to get back to the same process again was unthinkable for guru… it was a circus, a MAD one at that.....every advertising agency… the monkeys and the bears and the parrots and the lions and the ringmasters… you should live in one to know it…..

To be continued >>>>>>>>>>>

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

hahahahaha its my story man )))))))))))

suryanarayana said...

I like the last line- the circus thing- it was a circus, a MAD one at that "every advertising agency… the monkeys and the bears and the parrots and the lions and the ringmasters… you should live in one to know it….."

I am living in one and I fully agree..

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